Moose in the Closet



Still with the Ballet Flats


I'm still on my unquenchable ballet flat scavange. I don't have a pair yet and I won't stop posting pictures of them until I do. We'll all just have to live with that.



I'm not crazy about the little bows on these Cole Haan purple flats, but I'm pretty sure I like the shoe. They look to be more sturdy than the average ballet flat, but it's always hard to tell in a photo on the interweb. Photoshop does wonders these days. But I think these would be a solid choice. If I could ever actually make that choice.

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Pink Elf


I never came within five city blocks of San Francisco fashion week. Luckily, I read blogs of those who did. Meet San Francisco-based Pink Elf. More specifically, meet the swingy square covered skirt from Pink Elf:


Snazzy and unique. Why subscribe to cookie cutter fashion when you can pick up a designer souffle on sale?

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Bibbity Bobbity Boo


I'm not allowed to shop at the moment. I am attempting to save money. I know. It's as painful for me as it is for you. Such asceticism makes it disheartening to update this blog. But, in the name of consumerism everywhere, I am pushing valiantly forward. By hovering over items I wouldn't be able to purchase even if I hadn't hidden my credit cards at the bottom of the left kitchen cupboard.

Pale pink suede with the bow and kitten heel that makes my ever-girly heart flutter, these Christian Louboutin pumps make me want to climb in a pumpkin and go get tipsy.


Eat your heart out, jealous stepsister in the knockoff Seychelles. Oh, wait. That would be me.

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Think I Could Get Away With It?


I want this apron. Not because I cook and would put it to its proper domestic use. No. I want to throw it on over a little white shift dress and prance around town in platform shoes. Not unlike those women in the Catholic school-girl gear. You look at them and wonder who they think they're fooling with the plaid skirt because they obviously got kicked out of public school at the age of 16 and they passed 16 approximately 12 years ago. That's the look I'm going for. The "You can't cook and we know you can't cook, the apron fools no one - but you're still cute" look.


Sneak Peek


Say the words "sheer shorts" out loud and report the number of to males reach your side by the time your lips finish forming the "ts" in "shorts." My educated guess is four, three of whom are panting. Now show them this picture and watch them disappear in a cloud of dust to buy $17.50 worth of happiness for their girlfriends. Or blow up dolls. No judgment.



Ogle the rest of this week's bargains roundup at Knickers Blog.

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On Becoming a Stereotype


Sometimes a girl doesn't want to make partner at a high-powered law firm. Or win the Nobel Peace Prize. Or even be a sentient human being. Sometimes all a girl wants is this:



This:



and this:


Yummy Velvet Dress


Please excuse me while I scramble for an extra $300 dollars and paw through my closet for the perfect shoes. I love this dress. I even love the name: nocturnelle, from Infinte Darkness. The design is gorgeous, the detailing exquisite. You won't see it walking down the street toward you every other day, like that Banana Republic dress.


I just want to snatch it up and hug it.

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Swooning Heroine Getup Du Jour


Victorian women needed smelling salts because their corsets were too tight. So loosen that ribbon because, luckily, your ability to get a date no longer depends on how small your waist is. Same cute clothes, with the added comfort of knowing you can earn your own damn salary, courtesy of Mighty Flirt:

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Shoes are an Investment. No, really.


Every time I pass a shoe store, I race in, determined to find a ballet flat I love. I haven't yet succeeded. Most of the department store offerings in my price range look cheap. Has anyone been to the ballet recently? That stuff ain't cheap. London Sole may just be my solution. Check out their turquoise ballet flats:


At $150 they don't quite qualify for "in my price range." Investment, they're an investment. With quicker payback and much higher cute quotient than a Roth IRA.

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Anthropologie Pick of the Week


You thought I finally stopped harping on Anthropologie, didn't you? If I have to pass the display windows on my way to work every day, you have to read about it. Well, you aren't being chained to your computer by my force of my sheer charisma. (The pull of my magnetic personality hasn't really manifested yet.) You could always click that little red x at the top of your screen. But then you would miss out on Anna Sui's beautiful constellation dress:


Black silk halter with a constellation pattern to set you off from the other black and white clad lovelies? With a swingy skirt? Sign me up.

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One of Each, Please


I never thought the phrase "tweed dress" would get me so excited. But add the phrase "Dolce and Gabbana" and "tweed dress" no longer means "music teacher with halitosis." It means "I want to put this on right now and go read something while wearing sexy hornrim glasses." I promise to stop using quotation marks now. Behold the gray tweed dress of champions.


Why do I even look at Dolce and Gabbana? Why? Feast your eyes on this red crepe tank dress and tell me you don't want to lean against a wall and pout.


Just make it stop. Please. Look at this black bustier dress. That thing might actually give me cleavage.


Resolution: Never look at D&G again. Ever. At least not until your clothing budget matches your greed.

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Next Stop: Brown Paper Sack


My taste in handbags could best be described as "boring." When it comes to a purse, I don't want strings hanging off it, I don't want padlocks dangling, I don't want leopard print. I just want a bag that will carry my novel and my snacks and go with everything in my closet.

I am an insult to fashion bloggers everywhere.

So keep your Prada, your Marc Jacobs and your Chloe. My taste is dull and my grapes are sour and I really love this brown leather frame bag from Banana Republic:

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Shifts are the New Ice Cream


Everywhere I go, I see another shift that I love. Another shift that will not skim my thighs the way it skims those of the model because I still, despite all my enculturation into the doctrine of our fair nation, do not believe that ice cream and clothing are mutually exclusive. Is anyone else both amused and appalled by the inverse relationship between American obesity levels and the rail thin model types thrown about on billboards?

Back to the clothes. Here is a very nice a-line shift of the mod variety from Shop Bop. A-line = forgiving of ice cream. We like that.


It's classy, it's silk and it's expensive. Jackie O would approve.

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Yes, I'm Cheap


Like lingerie? Like it even better on sale? If so, I'm your girl. Check out Knickers Blog for my latest bargains roundup.

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Ridiculously Inexpensive Summer Sale


Words we love to hear, especially from Max Studio. I bought a bride's maid dress at Max Studio and was converted to expensive clothing forever. Or at least until my nonexistent trust fund runs out. You know the one. It's called "visa."

Until they start handing out their lovely clothes for 10 bucks a pop, I wouldn't call the sale ridiculously inexpensive, but it's certainly a bargain compared to their usual price tags. Here are a few of my favorites:

This powder pink camisole made a stunning jump from $118 to $38:


I love the color and the bodice detailing. Perfect with a jean skirt or capris.

White skirts are everywhere these days. I have two. I am obviously a sheep. But they're so pretty (especially this white linen version), that becoming a white-skirted lemming is far preferable to indulging in leggings. (Really, don't do it.) This one jumped is down from $188 to $88:

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Because We All Know This Blog Is Just an Excuse to Look at Shoes


Christian Louboutin, Neiman Marcus, and I present to you peep toe heels I'm convinced no real person can afford:


Can you afford these? Are you real? If so, have you bought them? If you own these, drop me a note. I need to do my research and no salesperson worth their salt would let me try them on for myself.

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Bananas and All


I don't expect complete agreement on this one, as I understand that not everyone is as whimsical (read: infantile) as I. But let me assure you, if I was the type to buy a $250 hoodie, this is SO THE HOODIE THAT WOULD BE GETTING MY MONEY:


Don't you think a cashmere Curious George hoodie deserves all caps? Oh, how I would love this. I've always been a graphic tee kind of girl, but Curious George? On cashmere? Be still my fluttering aorta.

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Jeffrey Campbell, My New Savior


Continuing the very short Things I Actually Own Rather Than Simply Drool Over series, I present to you my new favorite shoes:


They're wedges. They're black patent. They're maryjanes with ankle straps. Hello, cute shoes that make my life worth living once again. The (imagined) dearth of cute shoes was making me twitchy until these arrived.

These wedge things? Are actually comfortable. I know. Contain yourself. Possibly with a side of twisted ankle, but squishy and walkable nonetheless.

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Commentary Halts When I See Bags


Bluefly's 15 percent off handbag sale ends today. So hop to it, people. This green satchel from BCBG is one of my personal favorites:

Also this one:

Um, and this one:

Everyone needs a place to put their snacks. Extra lipgloss for after the snacks. Maybe a book for during the snack. You need these - and maybe a few snacks. May I suggest Chex Mix? Very portable.

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Why I Shouldn't Read Vogue


This layering thing makes me a bit queasy. It means I can't just pull out a t-shirt and call myself dressed. I have to pull out a t-shirt and then a t-shirt to go over the t-shirt and then a sweater to put over my multiple shirts. And they have to match. Plus, all that extra laundry.

This is why I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt right now. One t-shirt.

But I do like the look of layering when it is done by stylists for glossy magazines. Stylists with lots of money and tools at their disposal can sure make women look good. So I have decided to slowly ease myself into the layering thing. Understand that I live in San Francisco and the most layering I ever do is in August when the fog is rolling in and I need a layer of fleece over my tank top. You Minnesotans are probably laughing at my layer angst right now. Rightfully so, as you wore more layers by the age of five than I have worn ever. I am jealous of your stellar layering abilities if not your icy windshields.

In order to practice layering, I was forced (forced, I tell you!) to buy this gray jumper from Anthropologie:


I have coveted it for a month and a half and after banking an extra paycheck for which I busted my cute ass, I decided to buy it. It's refreshing to be able to share clothing that I own, rather than clothing I just think looks pretty in the picture.

You're waiting for the layering, aren't you? This little jumper thing looks best over a t-shirt. It takes next to no brainpower to put a sweater over the whole shebang. I call this look Layering For Dummies.

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Bargain Bras


I'm happy to announce that I'm the new bargains editor over at Knickers Blog. If you compared my lingerie drawer to my bank account, you'd see why. Every Friday, I'll be posting a roundup of bargains. I will also be burying my credit cards underneath the lemon tree in the backyard.

You can read last week's premiere effort here. Today's edition can be read here.


Want a Chloe Bag?



You can win one at Fab Sugar by composing a mere 300 words. As you may have guessed, this sucked me in faster than Brad Pitt waving a pint of Ben and Jerry's under my nose. You can read my attempt to whore myself out for a free bag here.

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Super Hero


I've been informed that t-shirts are not sophisticated. That no well-dressed woman would consider wearing a hot pink cotton shirt with a picture of a fuzzy monster eating an ice cream cone. I ignore these doubters. I love my t-shirts. They're fun, they're machine washable, and my employer pays me too little to complain about my undignified attire. So without further ado, I would like to present the super-sophisticated, super hero tee - next on my list of t-shirts to acquire.



You should also check out the jewelry.

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Wedding Clutch


I was at a wedding on Monday and spent most of my time watching the handbags and the shoes parade past. In the dust. It was dusty, people. Not good for the shoes. The handbags escaped unscathed, unless dropped into the pond after too many glasses of champagne.

This strikes me as the perfect wedding clutch. Beautiful pattern and a simple style. If you like bows. I'm not crazy about the label on the front, but I'm hoping you could just flip it around to hide the blatant agenda pushing.


Many different patterns available for $42 at Sara Langley.

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Alter Ego

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